Broken

A few years ago I came across a picture of a broken vase that was pieced back together with gold. That pictured impressed upon me the beauty that could still be found in something broken. I thought the vase became more beautiful and more priceless. It was transformed into a thing of value, instead of being discarded useless.

Several months ago, a friend shared critical turning points in his life where pains were definitely being experienced. I recalled the vase and explained the art of repairing pottery with gold or silver lacquer. The same could happen for our heartaches, and our healing.

We could relate to feeling broken and not being valued - by others as well as by ourselves. We have memories of a person or people whom took us for granted and broke our hearts to pieces. Or we have made personal decisions that were harming us or detrimental to us.

Sometimes we learn from those experiences immediately and walk away. If we were a vase, we get chipped or one big piece gets broken.

Sometimes we stay in those experiences, so we continue to get chipped, and break more pieces.

At certain points we wish to be better. Life must be better than what we were enduring and experiencing!?!

We try to put our pieces back together. With glue, or with sticky tape, or bag them up together to fix later.

Yet, moving forward our lives continue breaking - big and small, intentionally and unintentionally. We reason that is what life is.

How do we fix those brokenness?? Can we really live life without fixing them?

Do we use tape? Do we buy a new vase and hide our broken pieces behind it? Do we continue on broken without any fixing? We could use glue (earthly things and natural support). Glue does work well in piecing things together, sometimes hiding the cracks, but there would always be areas where a space cannot be covered. I also think glued items no longer look/feel as good; and are no longer as strong and durable as pre-breaking. Fragile.

God is my master potter. He created me in His perfect image. I managed to not value that and broke my pieces. God does not want us/humanity to live alone in our brokenness. It breaks Him too to see us that way. To see us, His creation, trying to fix ourselves without Him, with glue at best. So he sent us Jesus.

Jesus is our gold repair. In having a personal relationship with Him, old glue/tape gets removed and our broken pieces gets realigned together with His gold. He fills up broken cracks of our lives were pieces went missing. We see our worth because of His mercy and love flowing along our breaking.

We continue to break ourselves being only human. We go back to old glue (habits). Maybe hard-headed that we don't need that (much) gold to be beautiful and to be worth-ful. Or treat the value of glue the same as gold. Foolishness.

If you've been piecing yourself with glue, that's great. I commend you for taking positive care of your life. I know it is your right to choose which to use - glue, gold, etc :-).

Allow me to hope and pray that you will have an open heart and open mind to consider piecing yourself together, with solid foundation, gold refined by fire, through the help of Jesus.

But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand. - Isaiah 64:8

You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. - Revelation 3:17-18 

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. - Psalm 34:18

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. - Psalm 147:3

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." - John 14:6 

A Prayer

I was asked how I prayed when alone. My reply was, "... in many ways...".

My prayers could be mixed with praises, thanks, prayers for others, prayers only for self, questions, in tears, even laughing, inaudibly, through singing out loud, while walking, while conversing, while reading, when a memory pops in my head, and while listening to songs. The subjects are also very varied, from generic to intentional and specific. I know I pray more than three times in a day, but I don't count how much more. Sometimes quick ones (less than a minute), sometimes much longer.

I recorded myself tonight while praying a "generic" prayer, expressing my heart and my thoughts for others and myself. It was harder because I was too conscious of my surrounding, of being recorded, and of needing to speak clearly so I could understand my communication. I may have also tried to be more "flowery" in my language. It is unnerving for me to share my prayer here, I feel too vulnerably open, but with a huge deep breath, I decided I could/would handle it.

Here's a glimpse of it, towards the end. Prayers thanking God for my blessings, general chat, and for the beautiful day omitted; because I mentioned in previous posts most blessings already. Prayers for others are best kept confidential or to share only with those closest friends. So I transcribed in personal form instead of in plural form:

Jesus thank you for your peace. Thank you for never leaving my side. I can't make the changes I long for on my own Lord. I cannot do it on my own. I'm so aware that I need you and your peace.  Thank you for comforting my pains, worries, tiredness. Thank you for your providing me all I need to overcome.... Help me to keep my eyes on you, to see you, my King and Saviour always before me, and not the losses or issues that might be before me. You have the ultimate power over everything God on this world and in the spiritual realm. You are the creator of all things and have authority over all things. All glory to you Father, amen. I welcome wholeheartedly your power and authority Lord Jesus, into my life....  I pray for your protection and armour cover God, tonight as I sleep and tomorrow. I ask for restful and restoring sleep. I ask for wisdom, and a sharp mind, and for the Holy Spirit to guide me in applying knowledge into my life Lord; giving you power and priority in my functions, actions and decisions. I ask for your peace into all situations I will encounter tomorrow and this week.... In Jesus name, amen.

If you feel you would like to pray the same prayer or parts of it. Please do. Let's pray together. :-))

Mommy's Little Girl

She chose to wait at least half an hour for seats at the brunch establishment that looked hip cool; in lieu of the more upmarket restaurant next door with empty seats. I promised her both places served delicious dishes. Go figure.

She was distracted. Having fun, posing for the camera she brought with her, fully charged. I played along. Took several shots, directed her poses and expressions. Half an hour passed snap!

She packed away her camera, rummaged in her bag. A little girl close-by loudly called out, "Mommy!". She replied, "Oh?!", as if she meant, "Yes, I'm here, what's up?".

I watched the milliseconds when her face changed, realising it wasn't her own child calling her. It wasn't me that called out. She thought I didn't hear her, didn't see me watching.

She brushed it aside. Not a big deal. I smiled.

++++++++++++++

I was sweet sixteen. Mommy and I were in a big department store. Several aisles separated us, interested in different things.

I heard her calling me singsong-ly, "Baby.... Baby.... Baby... Baby...". My nickname. The youngest within her clan.

I followed her voice, summoned by the music. I skipped along, then turned to the aisle where she stood facing the side where I popped out. There were three other random people with her.

Mommy was looking straight at me. The three however, two mature ladies and a senior man, looked more towards the ground. I recalled they all smiled, expectantly.

I stopped in my tracks, and saw all three of them raise their heads in unison - from my feet to my face. They all stared... confused... surprised! Then just as quickly, they started looking at other things and walked away. I stood there realising mommy called out so sweetly, they expected a very little girl who was as cute as a "Temple-button" to show up!

They, were disappointed. I smiled.

Writer and Astronaut versus Pirate

I completed an online survey last night for fun which pinpointed the career that would suit me after only ten multiple-choices questions (if only life was that easy hahah!). It confirmed that I should be a writer (ahem, blogger?). It was nice to see, however less-skilled at it (which could be improved) I felt, even not talented (but courageous hahah, ack!)....

I did the survey again today out of curiosity. To see if answering one question differently would change the outcome. I should be an astronaut!

I smiled quietly as a writer... I laughed out loud as an astronaut.

I agree that I have both strongly in me. Circumstances and choices encouraged one path more than the other, and made my current career different. Actually... maybe not so different(!?!)... hhmmm.

It showed what we (should) already know - that we are boundless and cannot be boxed, if we are passionate about what we do! Be encouraged! :-)

+++++++++++++++++++++

Encouraging friends told me I could be both (and more). I joked about my choice to become either an Astronaut Writer, or a Pirate Writer. I considered both professions amazingly cool, leftovers from my childhood imaginations and wonderment! :-))

An adult but not serious conversation arose with a friend, whom kindly advised me to not admit to liking piracy, because it is outside of the law. We laughed childishly about it, as we also conversed seriously about our choices and free will, as we both knew we were capable of taking our topics there and pick each other's brains.

As we were growing up we were always presented with at least two opposing alternatives. Irrespective of whether we found those situations to be challenges (some view as negative, others the opposite); or as adventures (some view as positive, others the opposite); our end-decisions for those situations always either took us within the acceptance of our community, or without.

We stay inside the laws of the land, or become outlaws.

We choose to be pillars of the community, or pillagers.

Astronaut or Pirate.

Dashing names for what we already are.

Both role models in their own right....

... We love the fact that we have the freedom and the right to do everything we want to do. We even fight and kill for those rights. We even fight and kill against those rights.

... These bible verses will bring me to my point:

"I have the right to do anything," you say--but not everything is beneficial. "I have the right to do anything"--but I will not be mastered by anything.- 1 Corinthians 6:12 (NIV) -

 "Everything is permissible"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"--but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others. - 1 Corinthians 10:23 (NIV) -

Nobody should seek only for his own good, but also the good of others.... Now, I know this could be practised by both the pirate and the astronaut in us, depending on which character you decided would control you. But there is where the distinction lies, which one does your choices feed and encourages?

 

Bread

Close friends are noticing I am losing weight, aware and unaware of what's on my plate, pun intended. The upsize is (I'm full of puns today eh? I'll have more below....) everyone wants to treat me out to encourage me to eat!! FREE FOOD!! Thank you *grinning shyly*.... :-)

We're doing the book of John again in church, and I love it. I'm reading other parts of the Bible, but John has been a great reminder and equipping for a lot of what I am doing and reflecting on lately.

Yesterday the topic was Jesus being the Bread of Life - John 6:22-58. So much kneaded into those verses!! Three to four services are needed to tackle them properly methinks. But the pastor did well condensing it for the congregation. If you want to hear the audio recording, let me know.

I'm gonna share a taster of how two verses spoke to me. It spoke to me in many ways, but I will share only one (or two) of those thoughts for now. They were after Jesus fed five thousand with five small barley loaves and two small fish, etcetera. People were desperately looking for Jesus, captivated by the miracle... or magic (depending on how you view this).

Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, you are looking for me, not because you saw the signs I performed but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For on him God the Father has placed his seal of approval.” (John 6:26, 27 NIV)

... We are such needy, needy, needy people. It's normal to gravitate towards anything that we decided meets those needs - foods, sex, drugs, hugs, alcohol, cigarettes, narcotics, magic, gambling, chocolates, possessions, companionship, exercises, pornography, material things.

Fulfilling? Or band-aid "fillers"??? Healing? Or Destructive?? Temporary fixes? Or permanent solutions?

Are you really, truly, honestly, completely... SATISFIED??

I love some of those I listed above that meets my physical and/or emotional needs, especially my "love tank fillers" that strengthens me, but they do always empty out. We fill up, give out or consume in, empty, and the cycle continues. We crave and reach for these familiars regardless of whether they have negative or positive impacts. It is alright if they are good for us and others, but worrying if not.

We stay in that cycle, instead of searching for a permanent "fill".

That's what some of those people in the verses above were doing. Looking of temporary fixes. Jesus knew. He told them not to do it. It wasn't the kind of filling and following He was after.

Paraphrased, Jesus said work for food that endures eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For on him God the Father has placed his seal of approval.

Worship God not for the richness and blessings and spoils and favours He gives you. Worship Him spiritually because you believe him, love him, honour him and want to serve him gladly; regardless of how much "food" he is currently giving you - abundant or lacking.

Live and love the Bread for your soul, not for your belly.