Thursday 19 April 2012

Top Tens - Autumn List 2012


Ten Things I Love
1. The smell of freshly washed bedsheets, pillowcases and covers
2. Flowers! All kinds of flowers!! Love how they smell! Love the way they look! Love wearing them on my hair or ears!
3. Eating out and trying out different cuisines
4. The feeling of gratefulness when problems were resolved or ended
5. Iced chocolate drink with ice cream
6. Growing up spiritually
7. Confirmation I made appropriate life decisions
8. Acts of service
9. Chivalry
10. Old fashioned courtship


Ten Things I Miss
1. The beach - warm sea water while swimming and warm sand
2. My siblings' kids/babies!! :-((
3. Reading a good book
4. Having my own place. But still, I love where I live ♥♥!!
5. Protective hugs
6. My hands being kept warm
7. Hotter weather. It’s getting colder!
8. Acts of service
9. Chivalry
10. Old fashioned courtship


Ten Things I Don’t Like
1. It's time. Have to deal with a financial issue from my past (problem#3, the last one, ugh)
2. Chasing debts, wondering when and if I will get the full payment. I dislike it when the issue is about money!
3. People who don’t actively pursue solutions to problems, especially when the other party is me. I know this power game – child’s play – trying to prevent me from moving forward. "Breathe and roll with the punches" (quoted from a colleague).
4. Pettiness. Petty talks. People, stop gossiping negatively about others!
5. Mixed messages, especially regarding the dating "games". Action speaks louder than words/fears/intents. "Love is the easy part. It's making it work that is hard" (More than a decade old quote from an old friend, Gerard, whom I lost contact with pre-2000. I still remember this chat ).
6. Me in this complaining mood, ugh. Stop.
7. (Been reading my old diaries. I was strong and independent, but too trusting, nice and gullible. Hopefully still, but also wiser and more balanced ☺). Too many diaries. Intend to burn/shred them after reading, one already gone ☺.
8. Took close to 100 "friends" off the list in my social networking profile. Our chance to get to know each other better, albeit online, had long passed. Then, I prefer to restrict their access to more personal parts of my life whenever possible. :-)
9.
10.


Ten Goals for 2012 (Pretty much the same since Summer 2012's Top Ten List!)
1. Not shopping for clothing/footwear/etc until the end of this year. I have more than enough and my higher needs will not be met buying more! Not that I shop – spent less than $40 total since New Year 2012 ☺. About $30 spent on a competition team shirt I wore this week/end.
2. Start and finish online course to teach English as a Second Language.
3. Get rid of problem number 3.
4. See the solar eclipse, 13-14 November 2012, around Port Douglas.
5. Improve financially. Time to "nest egg"....
6. Really work on learning the 3 languages I said I will be fluent in after 5 years.
7. Have even lesser material things. Too many paperwork and reading materials in my room.
8. Be healthier. When active, I seem to not crave eating junk foods or drinking or smoking (i love shisha).
9. Find product/s to prevent bites and cuts from getting worse and lingering on my skin, that I won’ be sensitive to, ugh.
10. Learn to ride a scooter. Get my licence. Relearn to drive, or actually, to park.


Sunday 8 April 2012

Easter - The Story Before Chocolate Eggs and Hot Cross Buns


"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." - John 3:16


Christ is risen!


To hear the true Easter story, reach for the Bible and read Mark 14 to 16.


If you don't have a Bible, or do not feel like reading, click here and  LISTEN to the story (11 mins, Mark 15-16).


You can also READ the Easter story using this link, even while listening to the audio if you prefer.


Enjoy and Happy Easter everyone! :-) 

Saturday 7 April 2012

Deaths

Last month (and now), I received many reminders of how fleeting our lives are. Many people around me dealt with love ones passed away, love ones not eventuating, and love ones in the brink of their lives due to old age or sickness. There were unexpected (un)natural deaths of people my age, early to mid 30s; of children and below (planned and unplanned); and (un)expected death of elderlies from ages 50 up.

Four weeks ago, an incident made me reflect on how I’ve lived my life. I found I was okay with dying, and it was good to know. I would prefer to live of course(!!), there’s still so much to life! My few regrets were superficial (eg, not having climbed to the Summit of Mt Everest, etc) or they were in the hands of other people. I had taken as far as I could (regardless the reception eg by family, friends, etc) those situations where I knew if I didn't act I would carry the burdens of guilt or regrets. So really, I no longer have those regrets, as they were replaced by acceptance.

I felt peace and contentment, despite knowing I would have missed out on more/other experiences I deemed important, such as pregnancy and giving birth; seeing the love and smile across my husband’s face as he looked at my wrinkled face, mostly grey hair and toothless grin; holding hands as my man and I giggled and walked slowly due to our age while the world buzzed by; and seeing my grandchildren grow. I would be grateful to experience those too, if given the opportunity :-).

The sadness I felt were from my awareness of regrets (a few) people may feel from my passing away. They were wistful thoughts and assumptions, but I imagined actions/inactions that they possibly thought they had time to do but almost did not. Lost opportunities.

…. To my blog readers, don’t let fear, complacencyapathy or pride prevent you from making things right with people you (would likely) feel regret/s towards. Don’t mistake calling your fear of taking actions as wisdom. The time is now, for later is not guaranteed.

It is really that simple.

Practice love. Enjoy life and live to love :-).

Monday 2 April 2012

Tough


I wonder how many of the 21,000 that participated in the 20km endurance course with military style obstacles, are taking today off????


Second day is always the worst when recuperating - I knew that. My upper body is fine (tired but not in pain, or maybe numbed). The top of my head is soft and tender, but I'll live. My lower body, from below my butt down to my big toes, on the other hand, is screaming and throwing tantrums!!! Angrily scolding me for putting it through so much physical stress! My legs were refusing to carry my weight :-).

There were 10 + 4 of us initially (2 teams). But we lost 6 guys from our group of 10 even before we reached the first obstacle. I don't know what the deal with that was, camaderie disregarded straight away :-/. So we "buddied up" - my colleague and I, with my friend and her boyfriend. Same set-up as the other team of 4 (my friend's sister, a friend's brother, plus 2). The four of us went through all the walls together, the toxic icy pools, and the mystery course.

My first injury occurred during the first obstacle, while I climbed over a tall wall. I tried to jump it alone and stubbed my toe, heheheh. I needed a boost up. Going down on the other side, I don't know what klutzy move I did but I banged my knee hard. It hurt!!! Both of them hurt! I scrunched my face (instead of pouting), told myself "don't be a baby!", and continued on.

More running and obstacles such as crawling on rocks under a heavy net made with ropes. Then we reached the arctic-cold pools, where we had to walk, dip and submerge our whole body into a pool of melted ice. I, of course, chose the pool where I could see bags of ice being frantically poured into the water. It was a conscious decision. I wanted the FULL experience, hahahah ugh. I'm crazy that way. When I submerged I felt the ice on my arms, legs and cheeks. I popped out on the other side SCREAMING!!!! My body went into shock and as I pushed forward to the end of the pool my calves tightened. We got out and kept running, somewhere along the 4km mark. The dip actually felt good. It cooled down our bodies. But alas, my calves stayed tight, until both severely(!!) cramped a few minutes later.

I had a pre-condition, my thighs and calves were already tight on Thursday (2 days before the event. Instead of resting for 5 days, I made a very bad decision to attend the circuit session on Monday, lift lighter weights on Tuesday (to taper down) and attended my self defense training on Wednesday night (where I expected to be punching air or the pads, instead of bone to bone contact coz I attacked and counter-attacked the guys!). I had sore arms and tight thighs/calves the next day, with only 2 days to recuperate/rest. I knew by Friday afternoon I had a " very small problem" but I NEVER imagined it would debilitate me with cramps!!! :-/

Thankfully it didn't occur to me to cry. My friend's boyfriend was with me at the time, I had to call him back to help me. He saw how bad it was. I hopped/walked with it until we reached the first aid station #1. I think I was the first participant to be injured so early in the game :-/. My ego did not like it :-/.

Quitting or resting was NOT an option for me as it would have stopped the team too early on in the event! :-(((.... It would have disappointed me to let the team or my partner down, and to let myself down. So I soldiered on. The fight at this stage became more mental than physical.

I walked or crawled-ran, the cramps affected my calves in waves. I jogged when I felt the cramps were slight, then stopped quickly to walk/hop when they threatened to lock-up tight. Already pushing my legs to their limit. I still had 16km plus obstacles to go through.
My team of 4 stayed with me during that 1-2km, which I was thankful for. I don't know how fast or slow I was, but I kept moving.

My memory was fuzzy around here. I was fighting too many battles - mental and physical. I can't remember which happened first - the Berlin walls (higher walls) or the first muddy section where we crawled under barbed wires in slushy mud and trudged through a lot of mud. There must have been two sections of Berlin Walls, with the muddy challenges and the 5 metre jump to swim an icy lake in between!!??! Slowed by my cramps, I went ahead after the walls while my team helped other teams to return the favour of being helped by others. I did a lot of the muddy challenges alone but they caught up and saw me pushing a big guy up the mud hill so he could reach the hands reaching down to him :-). I was disabled but not incapable :-).

My friend gave me some electrolytes after this mud hill, which I think helped with the cramps but didn't stop it. I had several cramps, tightness and pains constantly complaining. Mud was painfully lodged too far inside between my nail and left thumb. The strong wind and sun burned simultaneously. A splinter managed to go through my left gloves (could not remove it until about 36 hours later). My lips are plumped and bruised now but I don't know why nor how..?? I also skillfully rammed my head against a wooden structure to give myself a concussion, as I concentrated on not slipping on the mud that I did not look up enough when I climbed up. Thankfully I did not vomit. It was just extremely painful and made me dizzy, so there was no reason to stop. ;-)

We were all a mess. Other participants were also cramping and in similar conditions. We queued together for the lake jump and climbed the last of the Berlin walls with my friend's sister's team. I didn't see any of them anymore afterwards. My colleague and I buddied up from here all the way to the finish line. We caught up to the other guys we lost at the start somewhere around the 14km mark, and close to the finish line.

Despite my condition, I still made sure I ENJOYED every single obstacle. I remembered always smiling - yes STILL smiling - no matter how scared I was that I would get a severe cramp while I swam in the icy lake (and drown); while I waded in the mud; or crawled inside a tight hole (and be stuck); or while I ran through the burning bales of hale where I couldn't see where I was going and suffocated from the smoke (and die if not pulled out in time)!!! Generally, I was smiling because I knew I wouldn't die, and it was very unlikely I would severely injure myself (I carried that confidence throughout the course), and I did not know if I would go through those experiences again, so I savoured every moment.

While I crawled through sloshy mud under barbed wires, I slipped and slid. I got frustrated coz it was when my cramps were still new, so my feet were useless. I tried to go on my back  and all I did was make mud angels! Funny in hindsight :-). I must have thought it was funny too coz I remembered becoming playful and I pulled myself out using my elbows and knees. I know I was smiling coz I thought it was fun when I got the hang of it. I even wanted to do it again! I did a celebratory arms-up-in-the-air at the end for a job well done! Woohoo!

There was a mudslide obstacle where, while I climbed the hill, I saw a few guys doing it head first. Of course I copied! It was about seizing the most of that moment :-). I went for it without checking how it looked below (yes, stupid, but I relied on the fact the event organisers also wouldn't be stupid to put blocks of wood or stones for people like me to avoid). I took a runner, dove down, realised it was steep when I FLEW and bounced hard (ouch!), parts of my exposed skin felt hot from my speed (ouch!), and panicked for a second when I saw an elderly staff member running to me like he wanted to stop me (if he was worried...!!). Then I slowed down, got up maybe smiling, coz he smiled back at me, and I left him to dunk into more mud to finish that obstacle. FUN! :-)

The 5 metre jump into the icy lake, that should have been my game! I'm a water baby :-)!! But the cramps were still strong and it was the cold that made it act up, so I rushed through it unfortunately. I planned to do an awkward somersault dive or a high jump into the water then maybe some more somersaults and underwater synchronised swimming with my buddy. Instead I conserved my energy and acted tamed, focused on just getting out of the water using my arms, with my legs heavy and motionless behind me. But I still chatted and joked with the guys as we swam across to the end of the lake, and thanked them as they pulled me out of the slippery mud.

There were jokes, smiles and encouragement along the way, all the time. The boys in my team sped up and joked they were leaving me to follow the lady that jogged past coz she had an awesome body and wore little. With the right comeback I said it was okay coz the fitter guys next to me were more than enough to keep me company. All the guys laughed and nodded at me with appreciation. Immediately there was laughter and good humour in our crowd. Along the way we met many very good-natured guys and we all just kept encouraging each other. It was nice for my buddy and I to know we were keeping/catching up with the same groups we started with.

This event was the hardest, most physically demanding and most mentally draining 4 hours I have EVER experienced. Everytime I was in the middle of the obstacle I steeled myself to not stop no matter how severe the pain (of the cramps were), told my body I owned it, and did anything I could to survive each challenge. For example I walked on my knees and hands in some muddy areas where my cramps were aggravated coz I kept slipping while I sludged through the mud, ugh! (I remembered the mobile phone advert where the penguin slid forward on his/her tummy while the rest walked with their little feet on the ice. That was how I imagined I looked, hahahah!!)

When I saw the 18km marker I knew I did it! I knew I was going to finish. I was already celebrating. And noticed that I still felt strong, despite my cramps using a lot of my energy and taking a toll on my body!!!!?! :-) I was celebrating and circling my buddy. We high-fived and were in good spirits.

I was doing one of my celebratory circling around my buddy, as we closed in to the second last obstacle, when a stupid spectator said something like, "if you are still smiling now, you must be an idiot". If he wasn't smiling too I wouldn't have known how to take what he said. That was how he joked I guess and his way of encouraging people!!!??! Fool! I didn't waste my time reading much into it. :-) I said, jogging backwards, smiling still, "no, not an idiot, just nuts!". :-)

I remembered around the last quarter of the course, a lady spectator smiled at me while I laid down on the first level of the mountain of hay coz I cramped when I pushed myself up. I happened to climb in the corner next to the spectators. She was encouraging me, told me the hay was made wide as it was so we could lie down splattered (like how I was for about 5 seconds) to rest. She mentioned I was still smiling so it couldn't be that bad (if she only knew). I joked with her, but rushed up as my buddy was up ahead. If I was alone I would have stayed to chat for a minute or two. :-)

The challenge called the Everest was the second last challenge. Aptly named as it was a very, very high wall. We were about 100 metres away from the last obstacle - electroshock therapy - and the finish line. There was a long queue. I still had a lot of energy/endurance, but my legs were spent. I used the queue time to psyche myself up. My buddy went up first. He was pumped by the music and exploded up (as he related to me later). I went in my zone, and used the athletic skills I learned as a runner and jumper (more than two decades ago, ack!) and went for gold! But I only aimed for the hands of the people up top. I reckon I could have actually done the whole thing on my own....? If it occurred to me to do it alone.... Anyway, I slowed to reach for hands, which caught me but made me hang and relied on their strength to carry me over (where I twisted my back in the process, UGH!), oops and thanks. One of the guys I met in the course was behind us and saw what I did. I bumped into his group later while I rested under a tree, and he told me that I was like Supergirl! He said I flew up! :-))

My buddy wanted to finish the course so we ended up not waiting for my friend and her boyfriend. We hobbled to the last obstacle and stood in front of it. Hahahah! We were both not looking forward to running through live wires and getting electrocuted. We looked at each other, with our eyes told each other, "here goes... let's go!" and went for it! :-) I got zapped once, or I only remember one coz I jolted sideways. I loved it coz I felt I was light on my feet and jumped the small bales like I had wings! It was easier than I imagined! I considered being cocky and stand still in the middle of the live wires to flex my muscles and show I was tough. I must have been still very pumped from doing the Everest challenge!! But, there the business of finishing instead. So I kept flying to mis-step and trip on the last bale, hahahah! Talk about being brought back down to earth! :-)

I jumped up to reach the wall of the finish line (to mark the end, just like I marked my start when I jumped to reach the wall at the starting line). It was a wonderful feeling to get there. 

When the headband was placed on my forehead, it felt like I was crowned, lol!

I received my free beer and t-shirt, sat down under a tree while my buddy joined the group shower, and I sipped a little bit of my beer. Buddy came back looking quite clean, and minded our "spoils" while I tried to remove mud on me in the weak shower, unsuccessfully. I could not bring myself to undress to my bra while being the only woman in the shower surrounded by men (joking about dropping the soap, etc hehehe); or to reach down inside my pants to wash off the mud that's accumulated within... eeeehhh heheh ugh :-).

We headed for the car to get change. I was shivering uncontrollably, the coldest I felt that day. Took our positions on opposite sides of the car and started shedding our gear. We were too tired, lazy and hungry to go back, so we headed home. Still proudly wearing our headbands!! :-))