The Great Procrastinator

This is who I am nowadays.... when it comes to my online training.... ack!

I committed myself to 350 hours of online training (plus homework and assignments) which I need to finish within 1 year. I have til March 2013. It's far away enough we think, but it's not really, considering I have completed only 1 month's worth of online studying since 4 months ago. This course usually takes people 6 months average/minimum of focused attention to finish. Until October 2012, I am squeezing it between work and other commitments (which includes other lectures/classroom sessions with lots of reading and homework until end of this year!). I am also aware I plan to travel for at least 4 weeks between October and December, so again, 1 month less "free" time to concentrate on it. Then the Holiday Season before... MARCH 2012!!

I have to stop procrastinating NOW!

I make some novel plan to take a day off work (like today) to tackle it all day. ALL DAY, concentrated work for at least 8 hours. But it's minutes shy of 3pm now and I still haven't logged in!!! My downfall started as soon as I turned on my laptop (9am). I checked my email first, and in it was a promo for cheap flights!!! I'm waiting for a friend to decide whether we are taking the deal I found, etchetera.... Since I was in that mindframe I also started looking into another route I planned to do between October and November, or mid-to-early-next-year. And discussed it with another friend from one of those countries being considered. :-)

When I felt I wasted enough time (11.30am), I closed all the tabs and files related to travel... and instead of finally logging in.... I decided to cook Mexican for the first time!!! I wasn't hungry. I just HAD TO do it now! ;-) I couldn't wait until dinner. I was excited to do it, been waiting since last week to cook, but it was always too late to after reaching home past 10pm, or I grabbed a fast meal outside instead.

Anyway, lotsa preparing, cleaning, serving, eating, self-congratulating, photo-taking and many dishes (not only Mexican) cooked later... as in now... I think I will just crash and watch a movie or take a nap. I'm too relaxed, distracted and don't want to do homework. I have an unrelated class to attend at 7pm today. I will just take it easy until then. :-)


P.S.
Obviously, writing this post was another way I avoided what I really needed to do...!! ;-)


Procrastination this week started from Saturday night really, that's why I termed myself the "great procrastinator". I always found ways to do "other things", that were/seemed more important, heheheh ack!
I was rushing home to have dinner then sit down to study. I bumped into some friends/associates. They also just finished the weekend meeting I missed, to attend a conference I just left from (I caught up today with a facilitator from my group who kindly kept me informed, when I should have been in that meeting coz I will be leading tomorrow night's discussion, ack, thank you!).
I ended up having dinner with one of the ladies and we chatted the night away. It was a very good "spur of the moment" night, and I appreciated the honesty in our conversation. I crave for those conversations lately. My life has been quite routine, focused on various works. Sunday was also another chance to let my hair down - caught up with Bestie after church (and we always part from each other saying, "we should do this more often" but time just flies and pressures takes over, ugh) then Mom and another friend. Sunday night I finished several housework and built myself a wardrobe from a flat-pack (on my own, woohoo!), to free up my Monday purely to start work on my assignments. We know what happened with that plan (see above, heheheh)....

"You Look Like You Had A Rough Night!?"

Woke up this morning groaning, hahahah… ugh. My ribs (back and front) and abdomen felt bruised, and my head was slightly dizzy. All were results of 1 hour of hardcore(?) fitness then 1 hour of self-defense training last night.

We sparred (my second try) and I got kicked hard on the side of my head. I was also knocked down on bended knee by a chest kick. The girl I was sparring with was most experienced but maybe not considering she was up against a little lamb (me). Or she wanted me to be aggressive back...? I'm sure she meant well, and she was apologetic for kicking my face. Yet, little lamb was still careful to aim no higher than her shoulders and not hit her hard on her chest. I didn’t want to hurt her. Next time maybe I should focus on her not hurting me…. On that mat, I have to push out the lover, and pull in the fighter in me.

At work all morning, I was complimented for how I looked. Reactions were the whiplash varieties. Foot traffic-stopping. I thanked them but I was baffled/embarrassed. I wore the exact same clothes last week, but then it was uneventful. Today I did one thing different - I wore my hair down, longish with some waves flowing freely. I didn’t explain that I didn’t brush my hair, that my head hurt when I tied my hair, that I felt dazed, that the side of my head was tender, and that my body was desperate for a massage. I wasn’t in the mood to explain, it took too much concentration/effort.

Later, Angel One walked in, stopped in front of my desk, looked at me quietly for a few seconds, then said, "You look like you had a rough night". Hahahah! He received the most genuine and beaming smile from me. I thought it was the best and funniest thing I heard all day, and it lifted my spirits up immediately. I was surprised he figured how I really felt. His honesty - I loved it!!! I'm not a sadist, and he wasn’t being rude. I knew he didn't say it to criticize. He said it because he saw past the outer layer, and shared his concern.

P.S.
We are celebrating his 60th birthday next week. He asked me to seat next to him. Aaaaaawwww  ♥♥ :-).
I'm also fine now (but still want sport massages!). Ready for the next sparring!! ;-)

Selfish(?) Random Acts of Kindness

I love random acts of kindness. I love giving it, and I love receiving it. A lot of my amazing and memorable experiences came from receiving these acts of kindness from strangers - for example "Guardians" and "In Love In Napoli".

Usually the motivation behind giving kindness is because we see someone (or a group of people) in need of them. I don't think we make a point of helping to be praised or to "put on a show". Our actions are usually reactive or instinctive, with the intention to serve others without expecting anything in return. I heard some people hesitate to help strangers based on how the other person looks. Unless the person was acting aggressive or it was unsafe, I think I offer help without this selection.

This week however, I decided to help (take a family photo) only because it wasn't going to waste my time. I was rushing to work. I saw them looking for someone to take the photograph, as I was about to cross the road next to them. If the light was not flashing amber and there was still a chance for me to make the crossing, I wouldn't have stopped. But I was familiar with that specific intersection and knew the lights changed fast. I knew I would have to bolt to make it. So in that split second of processing the situation (I wasn't going to make it), only then (coz it was convenient) did I decide to help. I reasoned it was better use of my time, instead of just standing waiting for the lights to change in my favour.

The family was very grateful. They thought I was being very kind, taking the time to help them. Silently I was dealing with the reality that it wasn't as they perceived!!

Perfectly synchronised, I handed back the camera just as I heard the beeping sound letting me know it was safe to cross my side of the pedestrian. I walked away reflecting on that simple interaction.

I know it was still an act of kindness. But I couldn't help feeling a little disappointed with myself, because I focused on myself, on my needs, and on how it wouldn't delay my plans. It was a selfish random act of kindness.... I'm still grateful something good came out of my decision. But I hope in the future my decisions to help random strangers would always be lead by the obvious fact that they needed/required the help. :-//