We don't know what we have until we lose it. Lots of people say this. It can signify regret, or appreciation.
This week marked my one year of being back home and at work. Time flew!! Emotional. Spiritual. Challenges tackled. Goals met. New visions pursued. Relationships renewed or built. I spent most of my time with 3 groups: workmates, friends (including house mates), and family.
Workmates:
I love my work (and 98.99% of my colleagues, hahahah). I always knew I had it good, even before my long walkabout. Most days I was at work, I was thankful, no matter how much I liked/disliked the roles I took on. Truth be told, it wasn't my first choice. Around the same time I was employed, I was on path to do overseas volunteer work (mimimum 2 years contract); at the final selection stage of working as a flight stewardess; applied to work for a bank; my previous job tried to retain me, offering pay increase and to further my education to take over a department; and I also applied to 2 government organisation (Immigration, and Foreign Affairs) where I knew/hoped overseas travel would be part of my role.
I'm still in touch with 2 directors from my previous job, though I declined their generous offers. I ended up not continuing the volunteer work and not pursuing the 2 government jobs. It was a happy compromise as I was/am still doing "community service" (bonus that I was getting paid for it) in the work I accepted, and it was great for my partner at the time who was also becoming successful where he worked. It would have been unfair to make him start over in Canberra where work for him was limited. I did cry though when I didn't get the flight stewardess role, hahahah ugh, coz I was so close, it was a hard-very long process, and the recruiter said I just missed out (they had a ranking system). It wasn't meant to be :-).
I didn't cry when I didn't get the bank job because I only applied to see if I will get it. Still, I loved the feedback from the employer/manager who interviewed me. The recruiter said the manager was really taken by me and he wanted to employ me, but from our conversation he sensed the banking industry (and that position I applied for) will not be the right place for me etc, yet he spoke highly of me and even offered to talk or give recommendations about me to prospective employers. I was told he struggled to make his decision, discussed me with the recruiter at length, and it was the first time she came across a non-employer willing to give a reference for someone who did not work for them. It was good to walk out still smiling after being declined a job offer, hahahah. I didn't get a chance to use him as a referee. I wonder (and hope) if I lived up to what he saw in me then...?
Ten years on (including the years I was away and/or working overseas), a part of me is ready to move on. It felt like a backstep to come back. But to stay on would still be a challenge. My future there was stunted (by my going overseas) but still very promising. I didn't really lose the job, but going away made me appreciate it more. I knew what I had. Without it, my resettlement would have been much much much harder. There were 3 turning points in my life when I could have left. I went through the processes, but I remember all times I placed my future in God's hands. The answers were clear - it will be there waiting for me, (I can/have to) go back. But I am also now feeling ready for something unknown. I feel impatient sometimes, excited to do everything now, but I've learned to allow it to play. So, whether I stay on, or move forward, I am ready. And I will always have fond and heartfelt memories of this workplace, as it played a major role in developing me.
Friends:
The random people I met, and a lot of times the things they said to me in passing, were all somehow leading to my new direction. I used to freak out a lot, too many coincidences - people from differing beliefs and mindsets and lifestyles, people who didn't know me and just met me - all told me similar messages. They saw it in me, or they felt compelled to mention it, I don't know. Now I just take all in stride. And because I am listening more, I reflect and remember years back I heard the same messages, but although I already liked the ideas then, I pushed them aside as I was busy chasing different dreams/priorities.
Sometimes it gets really confusing, because lots of opportunities are being presented to me. My impatience and zest for life makes me want to just jump in, because I like to do and react, more than talk and think/listen things through, ugh heheheh. But something tells me to hold back, each step has a time and place.
Old friends, including the ones at work. There are so many of them I value. One day, eventually, I will write about them here (though their names likely to be kept private). Again in reflection, I realised many of them were watching over me, taking care of me, and had my best interest in their hearts. Their "love" shown to me in the little/big things they did. And I only truly appreciated them when I became aware that I didn't have them anymore, while I was overseas. I didn't know what I had until I lost them.
Family:
We are used to being separated, living in different countries, and not hearing from each other for months/years. It is normal for us. We all absolutely love each other, but we hardly say it and don't show our affection easily. And when we try to express our love for one another, we all react... funnily. "Funny" is the easiest way I can describe us ;-). It was the way we (and my parents) were brought up. Cold-ish, or as one friend loved to say, "British", hahahah! Which I am not by the way, British I mean. I don't know about being cold, eck, heheheh. A lot of families in this world like this, inspirations for a lot of family movies ;-).
We are making more of an effort now. Maybe coz us kids are older, or they also have their own kids now. Maybe coz we can see our parents are getting older. Maybe my brother passing away kicked something in our guts (though to be fair, we made efforts already years before then). Whatever our reasons, I love that it is happening, no/less dramas, lots of love. It is true, blood is thicker than water. I pray we appreciate one another - frequently say, act(!) and show it, before we lose us.... :-).
This week marked my one year of being back home and at work. Time flew!! Emotional. Spiritual. Challenges tackled. Goals met. New visions pursued. Relationships renewed or built. I spent most of my time with 3 groups: workmates, friends (including house mates), and family.
Workmates:
I love my work (and 98.99% of my colleagues, hahahah). I always knew I had it good, even before my long walkabout. Most days I was at work, I was thankful, no matter how much I liked/disliked the roles I took on. Truth be told, it wasn't my first choice. Around the same time I was employed, I was on path to do overseas volunteer work (mimimum 2 years contract); at the final selection stage of working as a flight stewardess; applied to work for a bank; my previous job tried to retain me, offering pay increase and to further my education to take over a department; and I also applied to 2 government organisation (Immigration, and Foreign Affairs) where I knew/hoped overseas travel would be part of my role.
I'm still in touch with 2 directors from my previous job, though I declined their generous offers. I ended up not continuing the volunteer work and not pursuing the 2 government jobs. It was a happy compromise as I was/am still doing "community service" (bonus that I was getting paid for it) in the work I accepted, and it was great for my partner at the time who was also becoming successful where he worked. It would have been unfair to make him start over in Canberra where work for him was limited. I did cry though when I didn't get the flight stewardess role, hahahah ugh, coz I was so close, it was a hard-very long process, and the recruiter said I just missed out (they had a ranking system). It wasn't meant to be :-).
I didn't cry when I didn't get the bank job because I only applied to see if I will get it. Still, I loved the feedback from the employer/manager who interviewed me. The recruiter said the manager was really taken by me and he wanted to employ me, but from our conversation he sensed the banking industry (and that position I applied for) will not be the right place for me etc, yet he spoke highly of me and even offered to talk or give recommendations about me to prospective employers. I was told he struggled to make his decision, discussed me with the recruiter at length, and it was the first time she came across a non-employer willing to give a reference for someone who did not work for them. It was good to walk out still smiling after being declined a job offer, hahahah. I didn't get a chance to use him as a referee. I wonder (and hope) if I lived up to what he saw in me then...?
Ten years on (including the years I was away and/or working overseas), a part of me is ready to move on. It felt like a backstep to come back. But to stay on would still be a challenge. My future there was stunted (by my going overseas) but still very promising. I didn't really lose the job, but going away made me appreciate it more. I knew what I had. Without it, my resettlement would have been much much much harder. There were 3 turning points in my life when I could have left. I went through the processes, but I remember all times I placed my future in God's hands. The answers were clear - it will be there waiting for me, (I can/have to) go back. But I am also now feeling ready for something unknown. I feel impatient sometimes, excited to do everything now, but I've learned to allow it to play. So, whether I stay on, or move forward, I am ready. And I will always have fond and heartfelt memories of this workplace, as it played a major role in developing me.
Friends:
The random people I met, and a lot of times the things they said to me in passing, were all somehow leading to my new direction. I used to freak out a lot, too many coincidences - people from differing beliefs and mindsets and lifestyles, people who didn't know me and just met me - all told me similar messages. They saw it in me, or they felt compelled to mention it, I don't know. Now I just take all in stride. And because I am listening more, I reflect and remember years back I heard the same messages, but although I already liked the ideas then, I pushed them aside as I was busy chasing different dreams/priorities.
Sometimes it gets really confusing, because lots of opportunities are being presented to me. My impatience and zest for life makes me want to just jump in, because I like to do and react, more than talk and think/listen things through, ugh heheheh. But something tells me to hold back, each step has a time and place.
Old friends, including the ones at work. There are so many of them I value. One day, eventually, I will write about them here (though their names likely to be kept private). Again in reflection, I realised many of them were watching over me, taking care of me, and had my best interest in their hearts. Their "love" shown to me in the little/big things they did. And I only truly appreciated them when I became aware that I didn't have them anymore, while I was overseas. I didn't know what I had until I lost them.
Family:
We are used to being separated, living in different countries, and not hearing from each other for months/years. It is normal for us. We all absolutely love each other, but we hardly say it and don't show our affection easily. And when we try to express our love for one another, we all react... funnily. "Funny" is the easiest way I can describe us ;-). It was the way we (and my parents) were brought up. Cold-ish, or as one friend loved to say, "British", hahahah! Which I am not by the way, British I mean. I don't know about being cold, eck, heheheh. A lot of families in this world like this, inspirations for a lot of family movies ;-).
We are making more of an effort now. Maybe coz us kids are older, or they also have their own kids now. Maybe coz we can see our parents are getting older. Maybe my brother passing away kicked something in our guts (though to be fair, we made efforts already years before then). Whatever our reasons, I love that it is happening, no/less dramas, lots of love. It is true, blood is thicker than water. I pray we appreciate one another - frequently say, act(!) and show it, before we lose us.... :-).
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