Relieved and Thickheaded

Today I found out my supervisor has been trying to take some workload off me and he said I did not want to give it up. Miscommunication, ugh :-). He was right. I did not want to "pass it on" to other members in my team as I knew they had a lot/too much on their plate already. I made up my mind I was going to do as much as I could before I hand it over, with only the report writing part for them to finish. I was also trying to get someone outside my team to take over. He (my boss) said he kept offering to take over and I did not want to let go (because I felt bad giving him work I should be doing). He felt my determination. I took responsibility for the work too heavily. We did not understand each other's intentions.

It was only when I expressed to him that it was impossible for me to finish off all I thought I had to do, plus work on the new project my team was given this week to run for a month, that it all became clear. I was trying to exempt myself from the new project, showing him I only had 9.5 days in the office left. I felt those days were just enough for me to get by and do all that I promised to do. But he needed my help with the new project more - oops! I think coz he was feeling the stress more today as well (we were all very tired) or I was less thick-headed today; he communicated straight to the point or less round-about, in letting me know all he wanted me to do was to write the plan for the work I will be letting go. So easy! At least 5 office days work taken off my load! :-) I was also happy and willing to let go coz I finally understood/found out the other team will work on it completely, because my team will be busy with the added project too. WIN!

I'm so relieved! I literally felt a huge weight off my shoulder, seriously! I'm so thankful! Thankful coz I am no longer as busy as I thought (that's why I am here writing, not researching, hahahah!) and thankful coz I have a good/kind supervisor. Great blessings.

However, I am also reminded.... that I've been told before by two previous relationships (I assume they knew me best) that I do get like this. Sometimes I really don't listen. I go on "fix mode" or "work mode" and I am hard to budge, because I truly believe I am doing the right or best thing. When they told me they were trying to get my attention about something (e.g. another way to do it, slow down, etc), I couldn't recall. Or I remember them explaining it then, but I didn't really understand until that time I did, much later on. A fault in my ways of trying to fix things or do things right. Being too task-focused and solution-oriented.

I really don't know how to tackle this....? Because it happens and I don't realise it. Not everyone I deal with are kind, understanding and confident enough to pull me up on it, and not get tired of doing it (nicely). I don't know when my good intentions become a hindrance, or worse, offensive???!!... I am concerned about it. I want to improve on it, but not losing sleep over it (for now)....

At the moment, I am just enjoying this free time, woohoo!! :-)