Osso Bucco for One

9.00pm-ish:
Thank you for all the text messages and emails of encouragement to cook my osso bucco, hahahah! It is now simmering (over 1 hour) and guaranteed to be DELICIOUS! I already know coz it smells WONDERFUL! :-))) Cooking is playful for me. I don't like doing it still, appreciate being cooked for MUCH MORE, but I guess I love it when I do it for FUN.

10.00pm-ish:
Tonight I cooked a luxurious traditional osso bucco dish. I am eating it now and it is delicious! Molte bellissimo!

I started inspired to cook for myself, a playful challenge. I finished wishing I am sharing it someone special..... *smiling smugly and smirking here*....

10.30pm-ish:
.... Just finished eating it.... What a wonderful meal! Still wishing the other veal osso bucco was eaten by a love one, instead of being placed in a container to eat for lunch at work tomorrow.... *and the smirk returns*....


My train of thought changes.....

.... I've been single since last year. Haven't been on dates, except for those "chance meetings" and "oh, look who's here!" or "I'd like the group to meet each other" settings. I wanted to be left alone. Not closed off, as I allowed suitors or guys to contact me (kind of), but no one caught my attention. Or one of us lost interest, hahahah ugh. I am choosy and picky for those reasons. Not only for my benefit, but also for theirs. (Over?)Protective of my peace of mind, and my heart.... Taking my time ;-).

I love life - single or attached. There's that wish at the back of my mind to have it all - husband, kids, housewife, business/charity/foundation, travel. I am conscious of time passing which shouldn't pressure me (and it doesn't) but it is a fact of life. I know a lot of couples nowadays start a family much later in life. Apparently I still have 10 years hahahah. But would I want to give birth in 10 years? No way! Not even 5 years from now, methinks.... So, if I am no longer single then, we both have to accept the fact that any child/ren we take care of will not come from my womb. Sad, honestly, but true.

I had considered adopting on and off, for more than a decade now. Unfortunately, my lifestyle now would not meet official/legal requirements. But if the situation presented itself, I would gladly change my life to care for a child or children. I also still offer the lifeline to a pregnant woman to keep her child alive - I would care for the mother during pregnancy, and take the responsibility of nurturing the child, regardless of whether I am mommy or auntie, until the biological mother is ready to take over or introduced herself, if so - as long as the woman is saved from taking the option of terminating. It is good that since I made that decision, no woman I know has had the need to consider this...?

Then I get asked, "why don't you marry, or just have a baby? Why not choose from men who want to give you either or both? You can have everything you want now!"... Simple answer is, I am traditional, and romantic. From my womb, the child/ren will be a blessing given from my union with the man I absolutely love and love me as much. Gift from God for me and him. Ego/Pride (of being able to produce a child), curiosity (experiencing being pregnant and giving birth), and impatience (can have it all now) are not strong motivations. Plus I am aware of the fact I may live life single. A tad sad to imagine life without a better half, I would most prefer to experience life with a partner. But if so, I don't think I will be drastically lonely. Imagining it, I am comfortable with it, thankfully not fearful. I have faith in how my life will progress, accepting the unknown. Life is good.