In my previous post, I clearly showed signs of feeling overwhelmed. All out of my own volition.
My commitments are still the same (less one). But as days progressed, I had the power act on my complaints. To fix where there were imbalances, despite tipping the "neglect" to other tasks I was managing well. Embracing the tightrope I am walking on now. Dominating it, rather than letting it subordinate me.
I guess that's why I am blogging it. Paying a much closer attention to my thoughts and decision process, and reflecting on when I realised the desired effects were achieved.
... I was smelling the sake, while enjoying the company of very drink-responsible friends (It was like having two designated drivers, or one driver and one bodyguard, or two bodyguards whom part-timed as a chauffeurs). I sat there with my second of three alcoholic drinks for the night, goof-balling, drinking most of the hot "water for Gods" (or something like that, as described in the menu) while my emotion seesawed, as we reflected on (my) life. I cannot speak for them... I don't know if they saw me on top of my game, or raw from a little beating. Despite complaining of busyness and not having enough time, spending quality time with them (instead of task-mastering myself) was exactly what I needed. Tasks pushed aside until morning. Today, a day I specifically decided to take off work to chase after various jobs. This was very different to procrastination. I scheduled my focus, instead of spreading myself thin, and avoided not giving the full attention deserved for each moment.
... I also complained about feeling unrested in my previous post. I complained about many things, but this I felt was at breaking point. So despite the thought of work piled up increasing my stress levels; and it would mean I'd have to work "doubly-hard" when back in the office; I took another day off (tomorrow). I accepted those daunting terms while I also soothed myself with it won't be as bad as I imagined, I'm sure, and despite a guilty voice telling me I am spoilt. Reminded myself I knew, I chose to be spoilt, because I can still allow myself to be spoilt (mostly have to take care of myself only). So, while sipping hot chocolate I realised my "ME TIME" had started. I finished two books (or one and a half, as I realised I was relaxed but bored with the second halfway through reading it tonight), onto my third book, until this blog intervened. Pursuing my ME TIME even gave me a chance to pursue writing. Not that this post is any good, heheheh, but at least I am enjoying myself, filling my energy tank with positivity. I probably should be sleeping now to gain physical rest, soon I will. My slower pace now while I am alone is almost like sleep.
The point of this is.... we will always have the ability, the power, to effect positive change into our lives. It does not have to be dramatic. Just a little mix of healthy denial and/or desperation, but staying responsible and keeping your wisdom (no you only live once so break out and do something stupid). Not only seizing moments when presented to you, but creating moments too.
My commitments are still the same (less one). But as days progressed, I had the power act on my complaints. To fix where there were imbalances, despite tipping the "neglect" to other tasks I was managing well. Embracing the tightrope I am walking on now. Dominating it, rather than letting it subordinate me.
I guess that's why I am blogging it. Paying a much closer attention to my thoughts and decision process, and reflecting on when I realised the desired effects were achieved.
... I was smelling the sake, while enjoying the company of very drink-responsible friends (It was like having two designated drivers, or one driver and one bodyguard, or two bodyguards whom part-timed as a chauffeurs). I sat there with my second of three alcoholic drinks for the night, goof-balling, drinking most of the hot "water for Gods" (or something like that, as described in the menu) while my emotion seesawed, as we reflected on (my) life. I cannot speak for them... I don't know if they saw me on top of my game, or raw from a little beating. Despite complaining of busyness and not having enough time, spending quality time with them (instead of task-mastering myself) was exactly what I needed. Tasks pushed aside until morning. Today, a day I specifically decided to take off work to chase after various jobs. This was very different to procrastination. I scheduled my focus, instead of spreading myself thin, and avoided not giving the full attention deserved for each moment.
... I also complained about feeling unrested in my previous post. I complained about many things, but this I felt was at breaking point. So despite the thought of work piled up increasing my stress levels; and it would mean I'd have to work "doubly-hard" when back in the office; I took another day off (tomorrow). I accepted those daunting terms while I also soothed myself with it won't be as bad as I imagined, I'm sure, and despite a guilty voice telling me I am spoilt. Reminded myself I knew, I chose to be spoilt, because I can still allow myself to be spoilt (mostly have to take care of myself only). So, while sipping hot chocolate I realised my "ME TIME" had started. I finished two books (or one and a half, as I realised I was relaxed but bored with the second halfway through reading it tonight), onto my third book, until this blog intervened. Pursuing my ME TIME even gave me a chance to pursue writing. Not that this post is any good, heheheh, but at least I am enjoying myself, filling my energy tank with positivity. I probably should be sleeping now to gain physical rest, soon I will. My slower pace now while I am alone is almost like sleep.
The point of this is.... we will always have the ability, the power, to effect positive change into our lives. It does not have to be dramatic. Just a little mix of healthy denial and/or desperation, but staying responsible and keeping your wisdom (no you only live once so break out and do something stupid). Not only seizing moments when presented to you, but creating moments too.
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| Daytime errands done.... ME TIME ️️️! ... Feeling goodly bohemian in my clashing relaxed clothes (aka fashion terrorista); finished a book with varied choices for next read; stronger chocolate drink as per request; awesome Badu music in the background with earplugs muffling other noise; nice light chow, good downtime in a quiet spot. |
The game is still going on and you are in the middle of it! It’s just that you moved to level 37. And as in every game, a new level means new challenges, new features, new baddies and new goodies – and lots of fun! Coz it’s a game to be played ;-)
ReplyDeleteCheers,
Ulrich