Mementos

For two years (and longer) I struggled to gain back my properties that were held by someone from my past. It should have been a simple process, but I could not access them until ownership was fully transferred to me. It was a frustrating situation that tested my patience and understanding. Then I was informed by the storage company that they were destroyed. I had to deal with the emotions of forever losing my mementos - personal artwork and sculpture, photos, achievements, riches, and several sentimental items. I didn't have much keepsake from my past, especially from school days and younger. So the few I had were all I could identify with.

Thankfully it was a false alarm, the loss averted. My things were moved for destruction, but were found in time by the lady who was aware of the situation (she tried to resolve the issue for years with me). Many aggressive negotiations later, I finally have half of the property. Picture shows the boxes sorted and stacked on top of each other, next to other boxes to be destroyed. I had go through all those boxes to work out which ones were mine. Hard, dirty and heavy work. Hopefully the rest - my most expensive and valued collections - to be returned to me by end of this month. I'm hopeful yet doubtful, as I don't know which of my things were kept??..

Nine boxes of various sizes saved. About seven of them filled with books, clothes and shoes. Favourites, but non-essentials, and will most likely be thrown out. The rest were sentimental items and/or unknown. I took home mainly confidential paperwork, old journals and diaries, and photos. I didn't have enough time to sort through all the boxes this weekend past. But I knew enough that my jewelleries/riches and expensive collections such as designer items and wines (for example, Penfolds Grange Hermitage 1962, 1971, 1974 and 1990) were missing. I didn't even want to sell those wines. I wanted to drink/enjoy them with love ones! :-) In 2007 I had them opened and tested by Penfolds, and they were all still in perfect condition. I had sips of each one and they were very nice indeed.

The end of this month will be my cut-off date. If the rest of my property were not in my possession by then, I will shrug my shoulders and move forward. It suits my goal this year to have lesser material things at home. I salvaged some keepsakes from my photos and notebooks. They will have to be enough. But I will shed some tears of farewell over my lost paintings, sketch books and the beautiful sculpture I created when I was in year nine. Art was not a part of me that was encouraged nor developed, but those times that I immersed myself in its colours and expressions were one of my most memorable.

This experience showed me that I became possessive of the material things that reminded me of my past. They helped to create what I perceived to be my identity, and validated me. I'm sure there was also ego involved - being able to prove how much fun I had, how talented I was, how great my life was, how beautiful I/we were, that I existed, and I wanted to be remembered. These were some examples of why I likely became attached to them. The material possessions served as evidences (to others but mostly) to myself, because I knew, eventually I/we (or a lot of people) forget.

Having lost everything (or many things) made me realise that life continues on. I really didn't need them to settle down and create my home. There'd be less clutter, which I preferred. Plus the pain of losing those "identifiers" (if not your decision to rid of them), like any other suffering, eventually goes away or is exchanged with gladness/better choices. God's always provided for me. This trust and understanding made me appreciate the present, and live it with love and acceptance - with or without material things to identify me.

So onwards of course, as per usual, continuing to live and love life now, focusing on having good relationships and serving others :-).