Slapped!

Aside from the New Years Eve incident/s, there was only one other time (in this journey) where I felt like slapping another person. I didn’t because though I thought of it, I never wanted to react in violence, plus I was really more confused about the accusations and whatever was going on in the person’s head, and out of respect to the person’s elder relative where I was staying at the time. I was glad I did not react and was more concerned about understanding the person. Unfortunately though, even now, I still don’t understand, ugh. But I am happy to leave it at that, no matter the losses and headaches I incurred. End of story.

I mentioned in “India Me, India Me Not” about a waiter who asked to go inside the toilet with me. I discussed this to the Catholic Goan (who toured me around and made me so comfortable I forgot I was in India, with my defences gone). He said I should have slapped the guy. It didn’t even occur to me - in my shock hearing the indecent suggestion and in my reflex of non-violence. In the past I walked away from sleezy men, or gave them dirty looks, or tell them off. Or they never occurred coz my male friends protected me (back home).

Also (different issue but same inappropriateness) when men were touching me while they quickly walked past, by the time I turned, they were already at least 5 steps away from me. There was really no chance to tell them off unless I screamed at them or ran after them. Which I wanted to do, but also took so much energy, when I really wanted to cry (so I used that energy instead to stop myself from crying in the streets). But I needed to stay strong, coz reacting to those specific instances did not stop the other men. I had never been so felt up in my life before!! So I thought I had to concentrate on the future and focus on preventing, as much as possible, other hands from touching/grabbing me. :-(((((

... New Year’s Eve celebration came. I was in a club partying with new friends. I left them to go to the toilet (where I was gossiping with random girls, lol). On the way back someone grabbed my ass!!! My initial reaction was again shock and non-violence (but was going to tell him/them off). But also quickly I remembered the advice, then BANG!! I felt my hand uncomfortably slapped the guy’s face. Immediately I felt satisfied. I knew I made the right decision and action.

I also felt more anger, maybe triggered by my violent move, hahahah ugh. I politely but strongly approached a security guard and told him about the incident. I showed him where the guy was and WHILE THE GUARD was speaking to the culprit and I was standing next to him, ANOTHER HAND FELT MY ARSE!!

My hand flew again, more comfortable with the action. BANG!! This time with more force. I had practice. The security guard was distracted from dealing with the first guy (lucky him, hmmph!) as I grabbed him (his arm of course) while my other hand was gripping the other feeler. I was very angry by this time, so while the guard was telling him off, I was also mouthing at him. C’mon! Two “feels” in the space of 1-2 minutes!!!???!!!! A lot of my frustrations from other incidents in India and a few more in Sri Lanka welled up. I think I wanted revenge by around this time (eheheheh, ugh). I loved so much the satisfaction of getting immediate result that I went for a final hurrah. BANG!! I slapped guy number two again. That last slap meant for all the guys I wished I did it to (specifically for this journey). I think I also pushed/poked his face/neck on each side while telling him off. I was very physical in comparison to how I really would prefer to be in general (peaceful). I thanked the guard for reacting quickly and walked away.

Released from the worry of how a male friend would react (since I dealt with it already), out of shock, and feeling incredulous that it was still happening while in company of other guys, I told my male friend about the incident.

The security guard followed me when he saw I was talking to my male friend. Maybe he was worried that my friend would react. But he saw we were calm. Then he told my friend something like, “this girl is good… good power”. Hahahah! Love it :-).

…. People and friends, please be careful when you are trying to get my attention by touching me. Make sure your hand is well away from my private parts. Or be ready to duck. I may have acquired a new awesome skill of slapping instinctively to protect myself. You’ve been warned, hahahahah. New year, new me ;-).