Guardians

I had a lot of harrowing experiences while I explored two of the three countries I visited – India, Maldives and Sri Lanka. However, in my vulnerability (expressed and not), I also met a lot of people whom through their kind actions - intentional or accidental - made me safe(r). They were my angels or my bodyguards – my guardians.

   

- The friend whom I mentioned in my blog about India. Though he was in that post, I am still very grateful for the kindness, care and time he has given me to make sure I enjoyed his country. I appreciated all the good he’s done.

- Mr Irish in Udaipur, whom mostly stood between me and the groups of men we passed while we walked the streets. He literally circled around me in rugby stance, ready to take down anyone that aimed for me. I still laugh picturing those moments!

- A Goan whom I ran the children's party with. I don't know now what opinion he has of me because of the trouble I had with someone that connected us, pity. But I was very thankful for his kindness and that I felt I could trust him. He made me forget I was in India, which he thought was a weird (and maybe disrespectful) comment, but at the time I was very overwhelmed by all the harassment I had come across that I became afraid of all Indian men around me, except of him. I felt safe with him. It was him that advised me to slap the men, after I mentioned to him an incident, as I wanted his opinion being a local Indian man. Thank you, that was a great advice which I followed - read story here! :-)

- Z, aka “Auntie”, for being understanding, taking care of me, and protecting my property (until I figured out how to get them out). In her care I found myself homeless (not her choice), gastro-sick, overwhelmed, most tired and most vulnerable. It was there were I reached my lowest emotional point. She was so kind.

- Manesh and Rattan, two Nepali waiters at the beach restaurant I took refuge in, who made sure I was left on my own, as I requested, while I reconstructed myself; and agreed/offered to watch over my backpacks in the restaurant, until it was time for me to catch my next train journey later in the night.

- Uncle Harry, who quickly went into action to help me with my luggage when I explained my situation and I was trying to figure out how far Margao was (initially I planned to pick up my bags and leave them in the train station’s cloakroom).

- Auntie Anjeli, who pretty much adopted me and opened her home to me.

- Auntie Sandra, who with Aunt Anjeli (girl-power) went along with me to make sure I was safe when I picked up my bag from Auntie Z’s place. They did not want me to go alone in case of more trouble.

- Uncle Philip, for being on standby with Uncle Harry, in case we needed man-power. They organised all transports, and words of wisdom.

* The Uncles and Aunties did so much more than what I wrote above. I am still in touch with them. I was so glad I met the Uncles before I found myself homeless, as it was them that recommended the restaurant to me and it was there I met them again. Because of them and the staff in the restaurant, I had a wonderful/protected end of day (and watched a great sunset).

- Two ladies (Japanese and French) I spent time in Alleppey with. Just having them for company, instead of being alone, recharged me. I needed some female bonding and they were great company!

- The Catholic businessman from Goa/Mumbai, who was on my train to Varkala. He was so nice to me but I embarrassingly thought he had some negative motives. I was even rude to him, not willing to converse nor pay attention to him. I bitchily asked him why he was helping me, waiting to here another “demand” (click here to read story of bad experience with a businessman from Mumbai) ). He said he didn’t know, he just wanted to. I asked if I looked helpless, he said no, but he felt compelled to make sure I was okay. I stayed guarded the whole time. He got me fresh blankets and pillows, kept offering me food and drinks, assured me he will wake me up when close to my stop, and made sure I did not miss my stop. I did not sleep but I would definitely have missed the stop coz we arrived 30mins earlier than I expected. He made sure I did not leave anything behind and carried my backpack outside, coz he was worried that I wont be able to get out in time (trains only stopped for 1 minute). He left his things unattended inside the train to take care of mine. Still I did not trust him and acted unpleasant!... The shame I felt while I stood on the platform in Varkala as the train left with him waving goodbye to me… ugh!

- Two Germans, male and female, in Varkala. They welcomed me into their group/s, shared life stories, food, drinks, wisdom, and thoughts. I left them with LOTS to think about. Plus memories of really good iced coffee, swimming far out at sea in strong yet calm current, and lots of kameez shalwar (punjabi suits) that was tailored and ready to wear the same day. Good company!  :-)

- Two Italian girls in Maldives. They just left Sri Lanka and recommended their driver to me. ALL my bookings were cancelled, including the car with driver. It comforted me that, albeit new friends, they knew who I was going to be with while I travelled solo. I was still worried/traumatised about the men, so the fact that they trusted the driver mattered. I also felt as long as I had a car, I was safe with or without accommodation, until I worked my dilemma out (which my driver mostly took care of, bonus!).

- My driver in Sri Lanka. It was like I had my own Kevin Costner (without the Costner looks though eheheh eck!). I had an ex-commando for a bodyguard. If only I could sing like Whitney, hahahah…. He charged me a lot for the car and his service, as he knew I was stuck/helpless, which was understandable – it was business and we just met. I bargained but I was ready to pay double for my safety. I wasn’t exactly genuine to him either, coz I lied to him to keep myself safe (e.g. had a boyfriend, and pretended the Italian girls were close family friends). But as we got to know each other (a lot of hours and days spent in the car, just the two of us), he became uncle-brother-friend. My first night sleep in Sri Lanka was spent in his car (yes, I slept in the car, ugh!). His actions that night guaranteed to me I would be okay with him. He could have slept comfortably in the lounge of his friend’s hotel (fully booked). But to keep me safe (sleeping inside the car parked outside), and to not let anyone know I was a woman until morning, he guarded me in the car while I was fully covered under the blanket. It was the most uncomfortable sleep, (for both of us, first time for him to sleep in his car too!), but the best five-star security! :-)

- Two or three Sri Lankans, one from home and the rest his friends I never met, whom were my emergency contacts in case I got into trouble in their country. I contacted the two local friends and they kept in touch. I knew they really cared, and it was nice to know they were there.

- My almost-70-years-old snorkel guide in Polhena. My driver entrusted me to him, when our contract had ended and I decided to use public transport to travel along the coast all the way to the airport. When "beach boys" bothered me too much, I just mentioned "Uncle T's" name (as he instructed), and the beach boys backed off! I was happily surprised! My driver also organised for Uncle T to take me to the bus stop (in front of the main road), but he wanted to make sure I would get a seat so he took me instead to the main bus stop in Matara. Extra care, so kind! I still smile thinking about the way he swam when he snorkelled - dog-paddled when we were moving slowly along the strong current. So cute! :-)

- Three French guys in Unawatuna. One kindly watched over my things while I swam, and welcomed me into his group. Another stood next to a tourist who was chatting me up during NYE celebration, to stop the guy from bothering me (I loved the way he did it, the fact he noticed I needed it, and I appreciated that he did it!). The third became my trusted friend whom I spent the most time with. He was a much better Costner ;-). Good times! :-)

- Overseas, a friend constantly kept in touch, aware of how much I had to deal with during this journey. It helped that with him I did not have to wear my suit of "being incredible", admitted my stresses, allowed my voice to choke and feel deflated. His calls, help, encouragement and prayers were a source of strength while I was at my lowest, until I was on the plane heading home.

- I feel I should also mention friends (and family) whom showed soooh much relief on their faces when they saw I was back safely…?! I was surprised when I found out friends from various religions/spirituality were very worried about me dealing with the Indian men while I travelled alone, and prayed daily for me. It was very touching and I was/am appreciative of their well wishes and prayers.

My guardians above may never know, or were most likely not aware, how much their actions and kindness were appreciated by me. Thank you.