A few weeks ago, a couple whom were complete strangers, handed me two USD$10 bills after I took their photo and spoke to them about why I was in the Big Island. Initially I refused, embarrassed, told them I took their photo for free, I didn't need the money. They pressed on handing me the money, mentioned it was for my mission (being a missionary). I accepted their generosity. I knew they meant well in feeling prompted to support me. Yet I walked away reeling. It was the first time I received money for myself from complete strangers.
I stared at the money for a long time, in my room, caught up not in the currency, but in what it signified. In my hand was a glimpse of my likely long-term future, as a missionary. I cried, overwhelmed by conflicting emotions.
I struggled with receiving a "handout" from random strangers, because I knew the money was for myself only, not a donation to a project I was involved in. I had no issue with getting and giving donations for "others". I love blessing others as I am blessed by God, as the strangers whom "gifted" did. My pride preferred the strangers' role - to be the financial giver instead of the receiver.
Still, I was willing to be transformed. If it is God's will for me to be at the receiving end, in obedience to the call, because the call is clear. I prayed for the Holy Spirit to show me the truth, and broke agreement from lies of independence.
The next morning, I received this verse during my morning devotion.
I could not stop crying, comforted and confronted.... Though this lesson is tougher than I predicted, God holds me with love.
The same night, while getting to know better a new friend, to whom I also shared above, another friend came up to us very upset. He was unjustly treated, from a messy experience of returning money he worked for to his employer (approx USD$100). He felt taken advantage of and it was his faith that made him return the money to be a peacemaker, when in the past he would have reacted differently. We prayed with him for his struggles, with forgiveness and blessings for the shopkeeper. I obediently responded to prompting to give him the $20 I just received. I realised it was meant for him. But God used it to walk me (and my friends) through several lessons, including how to be a steward of His blessings. God is so much more than judgment for what I do and don't do.
It reminded me of this verse:
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Last night(!!!) I was gifted another USD$40. It came in two $20 bills. It's a fun play I'm doing with God here. Constantly being tested, continuously being (double and/or tenfold) blessed, grateful to be learning and serving. Confronted to announce and allow people, known and unknown, to bless me as I stepped forward with both feet into working for his Kingdom.
I stared at the money for a long time, in my room, caught up not in the currency, but in what it signified. In my hand was a glimpse of my likely long-term future, as a missionary. I cried, overwhelmed by conflicting emotions.
I struggled with receiving a "handout" from random strangers, because I knew the money was for myself only, not a donation to a project I was involved in. I had no issue with getting and giving donations for "others". I love blessing others as I am blessed by God, as the strangers whom "gifted" did. My pride preferred the strangers' role - to be the financial giver instead of the receiver.
Still, I was willing to be transformed. If it is God's will for me to be at the receiving end, in obedience to the call, because the call is clear. I prayed for the Holy Spirit to show me the truth, and broke agreement from lies of independence.
The next morning, I received this verse during my morning devotion.
"And he spoke kindly to him and gave
him a seat above the seats of the kings who were with him in Babylon. So
Jehoiachin put off his prison garments. And every day of his life he dined
regularly at the king's table, and for his allowance, a regular allowance was
given him by the king, according to his daily needs, as long as he lived." (2 Kings 25:28-30 ESV)
I could not stop crying, comforted and confronted.... Though this lesson is tougher than I predicted, God holds me with love.
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Three days after the strangers handed me USD$20, I went to church and tithed $2. I considered keeping it to buy myself some papayas, heheheh ugh.... But the conviction to bring my firstfruits to God was stronger (you can research "firstfruits verses" and "tithes" online if you want to understand).... When I arrived home an envelope with my name on it waited outside my door, sender anonymous. Inside it was another two USD$10 bills!! I was laughing in shock!!! A few days later I was handed a free papaya by one of the students, whom specifically came over and gave it to me! Yay!
"Bring the whole tithe into the
storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the
LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven
and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it." (Malachi 3:10 NIV)
I received another lesson on dependency, trust and faith. Also seeing God's sense of humour in blessing me not only double but also tenfold!!!
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Another story I didn't know was connected, started same night or the next night. I was handed two AUD$10 that someone found lying on the floor. I initially thought it was mine as I was rushing around earlier with my wallet open. But I wasn't sure so conscience (prompting) made me search for every single Australian in our base (thankfully there was only five of us) to ask if the cash was theirs. None of them took it, in the end they told me it must be for me, God's (double) blessing. I accepted it was mine last week. Thankful for insight in how God possibly used my lost/dropped/stolen cash in the past for wonderful teachings, or just to bless others. A layer of 'love of money' removed from myself again. A layer of understanding added to my role as a steward of God's resources.
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Last week, I tithed $5 (for the AUD$20 and USD$20). I actually still have the $5 physically coz I forgot to bring my wallet, so I placed an IOU note as an act of intention. I planned to give it tonight with another non-tithe-just-giving $5 for whatever project will be mentioned tonight. I mentioned this extra $5 not to brag of the "giving" (C'mon! It's only $5!! If anything I'm embarrassed it is a small amount....).
I mentioned the "just giving $5" because friends and I discussed the difference between giving and tithing, spurred by our experiences and understanding. I personally think what we give - to friends, people in need, donations, etc - should not be counted as part of our tithes. For example, I could have reasoned those times I paid for friends' meals when we fellowshipped as part of my tithe. Or, the time I gave a donation to a typhoon appeal to be deducted from what I gave to the church.
Just like we set aside money to save, invest, spend and tithe.... I like the idea of intentionally setting aside money to give. To hopefully be a cheerful giver. With my tithes, and the extras.
Just like we set aside money to save, invest, spend and tithe.... I like the idea of intentionally setting aside money to give. To hopefully be a cheerful giver. With my tithes, and the extras.
"The point is this:
whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully
will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart,
not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." (2
Corinthians 9:6-7 ESV)
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