I can't help it! I'm interested in EVERYTHING GOOD life has to offer too much! I always had been since childhood, but was unable to pursue it due to inexperience and/or youth; or decided to push aside that part of me to support and/or survive. But as I got older and late-bloomed in my mid-to-high-20s; and earned to support financially my chosen lifestyle; or became self-assured; or more selfish; or gained confidence... my unquenchable curiosity TOOK OFF!!
There is not enough time in my lifetime to fulfil ALL I hope to learn and experience. Even if (if only) my curiosity was encouraged from childhood, there is still not enough in two lifetimes!! Aware of my unquenchable thirst for this amazing bittersweet experience called life.
To me, LIFE IS A PLAYGROUND WHERE I DANCE TO BEAUTIFUL RHYTHMS. MY MOVEMENTS ARE BRUSHSTROKES OF COLOURS AND LIGHTS AND ENERGY, CREATING CONTINUOUS MASTERPIECES. MY SENSES FULLY AWAKE - LOVING, MARVELLING, CURIOUS, AND AWESTRUCK IN WONDER - BY THE BEAST AND THE BEAUTY OF MY CONTACTS AND MY SURROUNDINGS.
.... Ahem *composing myself, back to your/our world* .... :-))
This is why I look like I am always chasing, because time is precious. I struggle to limit my learning. When I slow down it is because there is something, or someone, or both, in that situation that I valued to be more precious. So I either submit my time; or request and hope to be welcomed to share the experiences.
This is why I am fast-acting and action-oriented, when it comes to priorities, like my life and my heart. To stand-still in indecision or a negative emotion, I really believe, robs people of the beauty life has to offer. Regardless of whether our problems are people or situations, we cannot change the past, and the future is not guaranteed. But we could hope for a better/nicer later. Our proaction (minute, multiple and continuous) now would lead us to those wishes/dreams we hold in our minds and hearts much better than our indecision/inaction.
This is why I give a vibe that I am hard - hard to understand, hard to satisfy, hard to hold, hard to know, hard to accept. Because there is definitely too much of me for a lot of people. I understand.
This is why I am vulnerable most times. To live me passionately and authentically, I knowingly and unknowingly stay receptive to all kinds of exposures. All my senses are continuously stimulated and filtering. Much wisdom gained that developed my commonsense and my lovesense. Life and love has never-ending complexities to offer. I try to dance it in simplicity, sometimes with mischief, a lot of times with play. So I get excited and truly hope and look forward to experiencing the challenges. For example, old age.
Enjoy! :-)
There is not enough time in my lifetime to fulfil ALL I hope to learn and experience. Even if (if only) my curiosity was encouraged from childhood, there is still not enough in two lifetimes!! Aware of my unquenchable thirst for this amazing bittersweet experience called life.
To me, LIFE IS A PLAYGROUND WHERE I DANCE TO BEAUTIFUL RHYTHMS. MY MOVEMENTS ARE BRUSHSTROKES OF COLOURS AND LIGHTS AND ENERGY, CREATING CONTINUOUS MASTERPIECES. MY SENSES FULLY AWAKE - LOVING, MARVELLING, CURIOUS, AND AWESTRUCK IN WONDER - BY THE BEAST AND THE BEAUTY OF MY CONTACTS AND MY SURROUNDINGS.
.... Ahem *composing myself, back to your/our world* .... :-))
This is why I look like I am always chasing, because time is precious. I struggle to limit my learning. When I slow down it is because there is something, or someone, or both, in that situation that I valued to be more precious. So I either submit my time; or request and hope to be welcomed to share the experiences.
This is why I am fast-acting and action-oriented, when it comes to priorities, like my life and my heart. To stand-still in indecision or a negative emotion, I really believe, robs people of the beauty life has to offer. Regardless of whether our problems are people or situations, we cannot change the past, and the future is not guaranteed. But we could hope for a better/nicer later. Our proaction (minute, multiple and continuous) now would lead us to those wishes/dreams we hold in our minds and hearts much better than our indecision/inaction.
This is why I give a vibe that I am hard - hard to understand, hard to satisfy, hard to hold, hard to know, hard to accept. Because there is definitely too much of me for a lot of people. I understand.
This is why I am vulnerable most times. To live me passionately and authentically, I knowingly and unknowingly stay receptive to all kinds of exposures. All my senses are continuously stimulated and filtering. Much wisdom gained that developed my commonsense and my lovesense. Life and love has never-ending complexities to offer. I try to dance it in simplicity, sometimes with mischief, a lot of times with play. So I get excited and truly hope and look forward to experiencing the challenges. For example, old age.
Enjoy! :-)
I adore your presence and beauty, but holding you would break your delicate wings. Fly butterfly, fly. But do not expect the loving flower to follow you.
ReplyDeleteBe easy on your ankle while you dance though :P
ReplyDeleteMay lights in your eyes always shine bright like fire :)
ReplyDeleteI love your picturesque view on life being a colourful dance. Okay, in my case it would be a dancing elephant and the colours would be a weird mix of blue and grey; a lousy gardener, but – hey – still a stomping dancer.
ReplyDeleteLittle wee more seriously: I made that butterfly example above to help you checking the main concept. A dance has not much beauty without an audience to applause or a partner to share. You get your audience with FB and via this blog – but that may not be anything of long term value.
Therefore I honestly hope that you sort out some more.
A flower is settled. And flowers are most beautiful if they appear as a field of colours. That’s family. That’s closeness; that means understanding the one next to you: Not just by its shiny blossom but – even more important – the leaves and roots. Maybe it’s time for the butterfly to transform into a flower? Find yourself a gardener ;-)
~Ulrich
I know what you are trying to say, really.... but.... it's like hearing that I will never be good enough as I am now.... I don't agree.
ReplyDeleteThe problem with people is they want so many things, nothing is good enough... they keep looking ahead for who they are missing out on, they don't appreciate and value what's in front of them.
We always want the best, but it takes time for us to be our "better". It takes time/years to nurture, to recognise and to appreciate and to value. Until then, it's okay to just be good enough, as long as the core/foundation is strong.... (Using your metaphor)....
I believe it's simply knowing that I am good enough - good enough for a gardener who will love me as a butterfly, and trust him to love whatever else I transform into while I am with him - be it a tree, or an orchid, or a giraffe, or a bush, or debilitated, or old, or sick.... and vice versa. Any hint of anything less than that, I (will) feel... that I am not welcome.