Living and Loving Life

I can't help it! I'm interested in EVERYTHING GOOD life has to offer too much! I always had been since childhood, but was unable to pursue it due to inexperience and/or youth; or decided to push aside that part of me to support and/or survive. But as I got older and late-bloomed in my mid-to-high-20s; and earned to support financially my chosen lifestyle; or became self-assured; or more selfish; or gained confidence... my unquenchable curiosity TOOK OFF!!

There is not enough time in my lifetime to fulfil ALL I hope to learn and experience. Even if (if only) my curiosity was encouraged from childhood, there is still not enough in two lifetimes!! Aware of my unquenchable thirst for this amazing bittersweet experience called life.

To me, LIFE IS A PLAYGROUND WHERE I DANCE TO BEAUTIFUL RHYTHMS. MY MOVEMENTS ARE BRUSHSTROKES OF COLOURS AND LIGHTS AND ENERGY, CREATING CONTINUOUS MASTERPIECES. MY SENSES FULLY AWAKE - LOVING, MARVELLING, CURIOUS, AND AWESTRUCK IN WONDER - BY THE BEAST AND THE BEAUTY OF MY CONTACTS AND MY SURROUNDINGS.

.... Ahem *composing myself, back to your/our world* .... :-))

This is why I look like I am always chasing, because time is precious. I struggle to limit my learning. When I slow down it is because there is something, or someone, or both, in that situation that I valued to be more precious. So I either submit my time; or request and hope to be welcomed to share the experiences.

This is why I am fast-acting and action-oriented, when it comes to priorities, like my life and my heart. To stand-still in indecision or a negative emotion, I really believe, robs people of the beauty life has to offer. Regardless of whether our problems are people or situations, we cannot change the past, and the future is not guaranteed. But we could hope for a better/nicer later. Our proaction (minute, multiple and continuous) now would lead us to those wishes/dreams we hold in our minds and hearts much better than our indecision/inaction.

This is why I give a vibe that I am hard - hard to understand, hard to satisfy, hard to hold, hard to know, hard to accept. Because there is definitely too much of me for a lot of people. I understand.

This is why I am vulnerable most times. To live me passionately and authentically, I knowingly and unknowingly stay receptive to all kinds of exposures. All my senses are continuously stimulated and filtering. Much wisdom gained that developed my commonsense and my lovesense. Life and love has never-ending complexities to offer. I try to dance it in simplicity, sometimes with mischief, a lot of times with play. So I get excited and truly hope and look forward to experiencing the challenges. For example, old age.

Enjoy! :-)

Top Tens - Summer 2013

[It took me over a month to finish writing this! *tense smile* It allowed me to capture more of the season....]

Ten Things I Love/Appreciate

1. Sports tape, to strap problem areas, eg injured ankle! I just found out how good it could be for temporary relief!

2. Peacefulness despite being too active/busy. Still NIL plan confirmed/affirmed this year, hence I'm still "floating", but not complacent. Focusing on what I know now while being content to wait.

3. That my family stayed safe and well last year. I hope this year too.

4. My mentor and her husband - for their patience, love, zeal for ministry and life, and spiritual guidance.

5. My female friends - for the laughters, unconditional love and crazies.

6. My male friends - they've been the most supportive through actions last year, ending with positive outcomes -  financially, emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.

7. Free-ish healthcare. I'm getting great treatment.

8. My work. To attend 5 days a week and still feel passionate about the core of what I do, despite routine/mundane tasks, priceless. I never stopped feeling blessed from the day I found out I got the job. With work hours flexibility (depending on deadlines etc), chasing other interests and various dreams became easy.

9. My new friend-neighbour willing to give his time to rebuild my strength/core through corrective swimming.

10. Orchid plant in my room.

Ten Things I Miss/Dislike

1. Gutted about news regarding our mission pastor leaving our church.
2. Took off the sports tape last night so I could sleep (after 3 days and 2 nights). End of today my unaided ankle was bruised, slightly painful, and inflamed; just from walking around at work.... :-(
3. Vague future, or end of my mentorship. I will miss it if it ends, but trusting that God's leading (and/or testing) will take care of all (of us). Wherever we end up will be the best place for us. Reflecting on the lessons learned, I am gratefully confident of the lifetime wisdom passed on.
4. Dislike my weakened core/stomach/ankle muscles and worsened posture. Have to stop stooping to look down at where I am going. Everything else just needs a targeted workout to strengthen again.
5. Missing two-hours of head-to-toe deep tissue or sports massage with scented oils.
6. Dislike the end of my holidays, or days off during work week. It gave me an impression that I owned my time, instead of being ruled by the organisation where I work.
7. Dislike how the orchids on my plant are already falling. I hoped they would last longer.
8. Missing watching movies in the dark (at home or outside with the night sky!), under a blanket.
9. Miss volunteering at Crisis Christmas. It was a great way to introduce people to "giving their time" for a few days/nights, being more receptive/willing during the holidays season. It was how I was introduced to it, by a friend whom made it a tradition. Outside holidays season and start of the year, it is harder to get people to consider volunteering (eg helping at breakfast and lunch halls).
10. Dislike not being a good shopper and meals planner. I get discouraged coz I waste a lot of fresh foods, and always don't have the correct ingredients. I miss my own home-cooked meals.

Ten Wishes/Prayers

1. For God's comfort and peace; and for confirmations to be clear and affirmed, regarding the future of our mission pastor and his wife. I know God has exciting plans for them, and through them! :-)

2. For my family to each have a personal relationship with God.

3. To wait patiently on God. Hebrews 11:8.

4. To not be lead by my own plans/fears/insecurities/over-confidence. Psalm 23.

5. For my (and friends') relationship and friendships to be encouraging, strengthening, positive and protected.

6. That opportunities keeps coming and presenting itself; and that I respond rightly/appropriately, by taking them on, or saying no.

7. To learn to play guitar. People think I rock it already, but I'm still quite bad, hahahah.

8. To learn how to plan and shop for food/groceries weekly, so I can be a better cook.

9. For my ankle to be healed strong, my core/stomach muscles to be strong, and my posture to improve.

10. For the last (biz) issue with old partner to be fully finalised this year instead of in 3.5 years! No negativity, but I would really like to no longer have to deal with him and not participate in keeping the (biz) issue away from his new partner. Peace of mind and complete closure would be nice.

11. For my (ad)ventures to be successful.