Expressions Of Love

Back in... 2009(?!) a colleague-friend of mine gifted me with a book about love languages. I was struggling with a "condition" (aka a confusing-heartbreaking-relationship, hahahah ugh) while he was preparing for his wedding. I went out with a man similar to his culture, so our talks consisted of candid questions and answers explained with honesty and maturity. The book did not help my condition because the issues were different. Still, it opened my eyes on how to be better in all my important relationships. So every time I see the book, I fondly remember his visits and gesture. :-)

The book was about how we express our love and how we appreciate expressions of love. Just like dialects and languages of the world, they vary for each individual. To be a good lover we have to ensure that we communicate our love best suited to the recipient, catering for their needs, in their dialect. Being aware of our own love language is also enlightening because it reveals the similarities and differences we could have with the love-giver. If our dialect is very different to them, we could lovingly (not demandingly or forcefully) let them know how they could best let us know - how we like it. And, we could also be more forgiving of the miscommunication. Or, focus more on giving love to them. Brilliant! It made so much sense!

Almost annually, unplanned, I randomly tested myself, to find out my love language. I was curious if I would agree with the results. I also wanted to find out if life experiences and youth/age would change me. I found the results between 2010 and 2012, tucked away in my laptop, last month!!....

Tested in January 2010. Physical touch, quality time and acts of service were highly valued. It seems balanced but I think I was emotionally fragile at the time. I needed to be soothed, calmed and assured of being loved (and not taken for granted)... regardless of how less I felt at the time... while I healed. So I craved praises and loving words. Thankfully, self-worth seemed intact enough, not requiring much reminding.

Tested in August 2011. I definitely valued actions and proofs more than words and promises! But very wary of "takers" so I needed time to get to know people. I appreciated people who were like me, whom decided on what we wanted and went for it without confusion. Mixed messages were unhealthy for me. Loving words were heard but not remembered/valued.

Tested in February 2012. Did not change much. To be expected since test was taken only about half a year later. Maybe I felt more emotionally healthy and more sure of what I needed/wanted. Opened up to relationships more again. Still preferred consistent actions and seeing acts of selfless giving. Needs for words of affirmation stayed consistently low throughout the years. Promises and signs of uncertainty hit walled-up ears, hahahah! Ugh ;-).

Nowadays, it changed, I changed - growth, maturity, life. But my expressions are still fairly balanced or broadly spread. To me it seems that all expressions are noticed, including words of affirmation. All forms of love languages are appreciated. But still consistent with preferring actions and results over promises and words.

... For people not familiar with how to read the profiles, here's a simple explanation of each of the five languages. Click on the photos to make them large enough to read. :-)


HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! Life and love are meant to walk hand-in-hand.... May your every day be celebrated with lots of love, not just once a year.